Have you man ever wonder should you keep looking at the girl sitting in a coffeehouse or keep glancing at her after every one minute or keep staring at her?
Have you women ever wonder why is a particular man is staring at her and creeping her out or maybe he knows your family?
No one can teach the subtleties of right eye contact, it has to be practiced with lots of trial and error. I have learned it by putting in my time and hence can just guide to understand the nuances. The most ideal way of eye contact by a man goes like this:
The man sees a woman in a coffee shop and he starts looking at her every few seconds. In the mean time the woman knows everything, who is looking at her or not looking at her. A woman seems like engage on a cellphone or talking to her friends, but my dear men she knows you are looking at her. The man thinks ‘if i keep looking enough at the woman she will make eye contact with him which he is waiting for’. And the woman thinks ‘if i make eye contact with the man who is looking at me he will think i am receptive to him and might come over to speak to me’. Finally one them leaves the venue and the story ends in that particular moment. Off course story starts again somewhere else with someone.
So is there any right way to go about it? In my experience this is how it should be done. A man sees a woman at a coffee shop and he finds her attractive. First thing the man should look at the woman for few seconds maybe three to five, good enough to let her know that someone is looking at her. In this three to five seconds either of two thing will happen.
In one scenario the woman glances back at the man, in that case man should hold eye contact with her for not than three to five seconds and smile (not laugh) while glancing away. THIS MOMENT BETWEEN MAN AND WOMAN SHOULD BE CONSPIRACY BETWEEN TWO. Now the connection is establish and man should keep continue the eye affair. Both man and woman should be part of it.
In other scenario and most common is that man looks at the woman and she doesn’t glance back. In that case man after the first initial eye gazing of three to five seconds wait. Wait for? Wait for the woman to break the engagement she is occupied with. From the corner of the eye the man will able to judge woman activity. Once she breaks the engagement wait for her to look in your direction (not necessary at you) and look at her at the same time. Its like catching the woman looking at you. Smile and nod at her to let the woman know that you see her and appreciate her. Now if the woman wants to continue this eye contact she will come back to you again or else she is not your woman.
Women respond if men give them a chance or moment to respond. When a man is staring at a woman constantly he is not giving her room to decide, to breathe, to settle. Ease up men! Few other pointers:
A woman might look up before looking the man, just to avoid direct confrontation.
A woman pretend to check her cell phone or read a book and steal glances at the man.
A woman with someone will first check in with their partner at the time before looking at you, just to make sure that their partner dosen’t catches them.
Sometimes even i get lost in this land of sub-communication with women. Its ok. It takes time to learn the language of women.
Would love to hear some views on it.