Ever been to a house party and you notice a mix group of three standing and conversing intensely and laughing, to which you wonder why i can’t be part of that kind of group? Saying right things, making other people laugh, etc are conversation traits we desire specifically when we see others. We always think the other one knows how to have a smooth conversation.
But that is not the case most of the times. Do you know that, those group of three or more are in their head most of the times wondering “what to say next?”, “When to say?”, “Oh why i said that”. Even they are in their heads thinking exactly same like you.
When a man and a woman goes on a date, man is in his head thinking, for example:
“what to say next”,
“should i ask her about that”,
“will it be appropriate if i touch her”
“Does she like me”
A woman is in her head:
“Am i looking attractive?”
“How to get out of this?”(this is the most common one)
“Why i am talking so much”
“When he will kiss me?” (this is the second most common)
We both men and women are caught up in our own thoughts even in bedroom:
Men is caught up thinking:
“will i last long?”
“Where should I first kiss?”
“Should I try different positions”?
And so are women:
“I hope he likes me naked”
“What about my breast, are they small for him”
“What time do i have to go to market” (In case of routine sex)
So what am i trying to convey?
I am saying don’t under estimate yourself because we all in the same boat. Off course there are people who will be more confident than you, but trust me they are less confident than you think.
Another point i want to mention as a practical advice is to blurt it out. The moment you bite your tongue that is the moment you should say it. In the process you might find yourself in an embarrassing situation but again we all have been there, and we are still alive. Take it as a part of your learning to get out of your head.