“Women are suppose to be looked at or else they fade away”
This remarkably insightful line is from a movie “fading Gigolo”, in a scene where a woman raises her arms towards herself for a man, who is shying away to gaze at her.
Similarly, in the book “Zorba the Greek”, Zorba (wise grey hair man) narrates a tale of his eighty year old grandma, who secretly combed her hair, rubbed walnut leaves on her lips and do whatever it took to look pretty, cursed Zorba for reprimanding her act of trying to look pretty and dreaming about being serenaded by men for her beauty.
As Zorba mentions, how that particular experience taught him about female gender, which rings in similar tone as the opening statement of this post.
Women want to be looked at and feel desire.
However, it is frown upon, if a man stares at a woman.
Because staring feels different to women compare to be looked at in admiration.
Staring feels threatening while being admired feels nice and warm.
So what’s the different between staring and looking in a way that makes women feel warm and hence desirable?
Difference lies in mind.
Forgive me for entering philosophical realm, but there is no other way to answer this.
Mind, which is filled with agenda, conclusions, assessments, judgements while looking at a woman tends to make her feel unsafe.
While “no mind” or mind becomes suspended, while looking at a woman is what women crave for and that look makes them feel warm, safe and desire.
Plus a feeling of delight, mischief should be awaken in you upon seeing a woman who is pretty and feminine to you.
You may ask, how does a woman know what is happening in your mind while looking at her?
Well they don’t know consciously, but women capacity to feel is way higher than men.
However, there some social graces that a man needs to be aware of.
- Be conscious of your and her surroundings while looking at a woman. If she is her family/boyfriends, slow it down.
- Understand the space between you and this novel woman. The lesser the space in between, the more overwhelming it can be.
- Time is another important factor. Initially, as you practice this, don’t look for more than 4 or 5 seconds.
- Once you look, keep a gap of 2 to 3 minutes before again you look back.